It’s been nearly a month I didn’t update my blog..I would want to inform everybody that my blog is officially all about our family struggling in dealing a world of parenthood which is new to both of us and a new found tasks which I didn’t expect will be one of my routine…”breastfeeding”.
Attaining a baby is quiet challenging work to do which no one tell me about the sleepless night!!.We have to feed her very 2 to 3 hours, changing diapers, entertain her and put her into sleep after cuddling her almost 1 hour to get her to sleep every night. Itu kalo mood dia bagus, if the baby crancky, it can get until a few hour to get her sleep and by then it’s time to feed her again. Luckily in term of breastfeed ,the baby will sleep more during nighttime where as in formula milk sometimes parent have to feed every two hours even after midnite. So to make everything in under control around the house, our routine now is all about system, discipline and teamwork. Indeed the baby came thru from me yet she’s still a mysterious person to us. She has her own personality and we ‘re still learning to get to know her.
It's hard at the beginning to have this task, I cannot face the fact why is now i dun have enough sleep anymore and why I cannot do the things i like to do( shopping nda tentu pasal, makan junkfood, mansau sana sini)? And why can she nap for more than a half hour?I fought with myself far more than my baby did. It started to seem as if the days were all bad, punctuated occasionally by something going well.
I had the feeling that if I could just get the day to go smoothly, I could have time to get back to my own agenda. But as i thought this, it was slowly occuring to me that this taking-care-of-my-baby thing is my agenda.It wasn't something to get thru before I could get back my regularly schedule day. This is it. Keeping my baby safe, happy, well feed and diapered. This is the job. This is what i am doing with my days. This is the work of parenting.
I didn't want to fight with myself anymore over what should be on the big screen. I had two choices, denial or acceptance. Acceptance seemed more functional. The big picture could remain in focus, I am in charge of raising Ava all day.
It is time to feed Ava already, thou breastfeeding can be tiring for a new mother but as Ava looked up at me from my lap with her big grin as she sucking my breast. I decided to enjoy the whole journey with her....