Quote of the Day.

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."

-Arthur Ashe (1943-1993); American tennis player, social activist

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Hormones....when will u be good to me..

Let me tell you what had happened last night. Yesterday evening it was supposed to be my day of excitemen for I'm gonna buy this Chanel parfum, yesterday was a Bonus Link day for Parkson so we'll get twice of the redeem point if we buy stuff during Parkson member's day. When we reached at the Chanel counter, we checked for the sample smell with a friendly saleswoman which also told me that pregnant woman was not suitable in spraying perfume all over the body but only on the clothes. Bagus juga la dia kactau but still I insisted to have those perfume. Hubby suggested we walked around first with the sample smell and if I really made my decision to have it by the next few mins, we'll gonna take it!!! Later after bought two cottons blanket from the 3rd floor of Parkson, I started to feel dizzy with the smell of it and my nausea started to sabotaging my happy hormones. We didn't buy those Chanel perfume instead went out from Bintang mall to have dinner and the worst is yet to come...

We went to the Japanese restaurant for dinner. Everything was actually went on smoothly, me and hubby had a good laugh together, enjoying the food and the music. Later after paid the bill, as soon as we came out from the restaurant, the foul smell from the warm air outside of the restaurant rushed through my nose and it was really stinky..so stinky I wanted to puke!!!!The food from my stomach had not yet been digested yet and here I was struggling to control myself for not puking. On the way to the car, I did a chanting.."I can control myself, I shall not goin to throw up"..for dunno how many times. As soon as my buts touching the car seat and before I closed the car door, without no control I puked all over the side of the car, that was one of the worst puke i've ever had, not to mention during my 4 months morning sickness, I once threw up all over the bathroom wall and poor hubby had to help me to clean the mess! Luckily for this time I threw up at the outside so no hard clean to be done instead my left slipper n foot...the puke was on my slipper!!!Yuck!!!we had to go to the nearby gas station to have me clean up.
After arrived home, I went to play with Bumble for awhile to get rid a bit those bad experience I just had. It was actaully quite funny bcos at the end of the evening, we only ate the watermelon fruit which half of it already got rotten because it's been already 1 weeks laying on our floor kitchen unctouchable..that was for my dinner since I already threw everything the food i had eaten. Hubby was making a joke on how's this evening came out with I just eating a rotten watermelon after driving around for looking a good place to dine for. The earliest plan was to go dinner at Dynasty hotel for a buffet but then the place was crowded with people ( wedding function) so we decided to go for japanese food. Luckily we didn't go at Dynasty's hotel...kalau nda, terbang2 itu duit bcoz of my unbalance hormones. Maybe for now, we just stick to hubby's menu and normal restaurant saja.....
I am tired with my nauseas but it will not going to be long now since I only have 1 in a half months to go. Lord please give me strengh to move on for another few more weeks....

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Frustration, Anger, Regretness......

Hello again...now hubby's back in the house I realize I appreciate him more in my life and love him more. I can't imagine getting married to anyone but him, the fact that we always have different opinion and also in characters( we argue so much, He is Mr Neat and Responsible while me, I am Miss Clumsiness and Absentminded, even the dead plant in front of the door house I didn't see which I am the one who responsible to water those plants, siapa la yang nda marah.), we are just nailed it to be together thou the road of marriage life sometimes not so easy as it does..trust me on that!

My topic today is not about our marriage life but about something which I read thru a book titled "Einsten Never Used Flash Cards"...first of all do forgive me if you find out that my next statements would be quite harsh and maybe parents out there ( if there is any parents read this post) find this post as an insult to them..it's only my pregnancy hormones okay..

Nowadays parents would send their children for tuiton, make sure that they must have a good grades and the good grades that we talking here is from Primary One..UPSR, must have all A, PMR 7A's and SPM all subject must credit in high marks....and for other things like play...ignore it, u don't have those time if you want to excel on your study.
If you excel on it, u get praises from ur parents, auntie, uncle and cousins and if you don't excel, they don't know what else they see on you..you just a normal kid with no ability in study..and they will praise more for another nephews/cousins who got excellent result in exam. Another thing , a kid age 4 years old don't know how to read yet, they will start to justify her ability in study..this are all bullshit!!!!!! I experienced it with my on eyes..luckily my parents now have a bit realization about this misconception about how to lead your children when they re growing up but they are a little too late to realize it, I am now a 28 years grown up woman, having a depression since my teenage life just to fullfilled their expectation in my study....luckily I am on my own now ..the thing was, I dont like study..I didn't like maths, I didn't like biology, chemistry and add maths...during those years, I just want to do Karate and drawings!!!!!Instead my schedule was filled with tution, tuition and more tuition....I am actually wasting my time with this bullshit activity during my teenage years. and I've been damaging my body with stomacache everytime any exam coming oout bcoz afraid of the failure and afraid to upset my parents if i failed..if only I know that I ve the right to say on what I really need during that time, maybe now I already travel around the world to do many things. Not that I am regretting my life now, I just very upset with my teen life, I ve been wasting my teen life with all those books which i was not interested with!!!!!...
"You are not goin anywhere if u don’t excell in your PMR or SPM, look at ur nephews, they are very bright, why can you just be hardworking like them?""Look at your aunt, she 's a university graduates and she has a good job , she is happy and fulfilled", "Oh look at ur other aunty who's a dentist, if they can, u also can"...that was the kind of motivations I received from my parents and aunties which was good but didn't help me at all.
To tell you the truth, I don’t even want to be like my aunty because she's so depressing!!!! Especially when I looked at her kids, she really thinks that she can make the kids as perfect as her!!!Did I mentioned that she's got a very low self-confidence, she feel so unsecure if I don't eat her homemade salad!!!!! I never see ppl as pathetic as her!!!!( I am sorry aunty, I am so mad at you, the way u treat me like a kid, the way u keep on asking me to get a job ,the way you keep on boosting how well ur kids do in the school and the way you snapped ur daughter only because she didn't get 100 percent in her workbook tests.)How will i look up at her as a good example!!! One of my aunty, her daughter got 5A's in PMR...isn't that a good result??but poor girl, her mommy keep on accused her for being slow...then demanded that she get a perfect result for SPM, the last time I check my cousin is attending a 6 days /week tuition now (in her Form 4) to prepare for SPM....I just don't get it, why?????

Back to the books, from the research it was said that "Children (is) suffering from a new kind of "grade inflation" where skills that were traditionally taught in one grade now have to be learned the year before. Not surprisingly our children are suffering from excessive depression and anxiety and children anxiety's levels have increased significantly since the 1950s, with children as young as 9 now experiencing anxiety attacks which also happened to me when I did my UPSR last time. Some studies show a growing prevalence of test anxiety in children, possibly due to the increased amount of testing in schools and high academic expectations of parents. This anxiety of course, actually interferes with performances and learning !!!Note that parents. don’t; let your crazy expectation get to your kids, you don't know how long they can handle your expectation.. when you know it, it's too late to turn back time again!!!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Four lonely days.....

This is the fourth day I am staying all alone....luckily got Bumble who's very loyal to take care of me even he's only stay outside the house....whenever I kept silence in the house, he would knocked the front door using his feet asking me to open the door..when I greeted him with a smile he would turn back to his place with relief knowing that I still can walk thru the door..hahaha...and each time when I went to cook he would check on me from the back kitchen and during evening begging me to accompany him walking around the neighborhood....He waited in front of the gate and doing certain sound which we understood that he wanted us to let him out from the gate....now i believed a dog really can make the best companion for human...
Hubby had been out to Kl for a few days now and hopefully he can catch the flight tonite..I am so miserable for being alone except for last nite...Ooi Chin n Chin Weng fetched me to go for dinner together...after came back from dinner, I had difficulty to sleep bcoz Bumble was barking the for hours...I didn't dare to look outside of the window, just hoped that whatever he barked was someone or animals which just passed by in front of our house....
For today, I just spent time in front of the pc with absentminded mind.....

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How to get yourself satisfied with your actual day wedding photos....

Love the cake decor..simple yet it fullfilled our satisfaction...
I modified the kadazan costume so it can be wearable in different kind of event.



Second wedding receiption at Boliga, Kolopis..
At Meridian receiption....( to choose a wedding gown, it have to match with your body type and size)



Wave darls..wave.....

Daddy n I....






I love this pics...






Different view in taking family pictures...






We are so lucky to have Fr.Wilfred to bless and witnessed our nuptial before he went to Rome for further study.








Attention!!!if u want a perfect snap while doing this scene, make sure your fingers didn't cover the ring!!!









The long fake eyelashes were struggling with my veil..











Florencius Bryan Jipiu....( he forgot to manage his hair, luckily the hair can manage by itself, still look good,phewitt..)












There's no harm in taking ur pictures in the lif!!!










Our videoman, Francis Maluda, my mak andam,Mary ( from Everlasting Bridal House, Penampang)and of course one of my sweet bridesmaid,Gloria(the girl with green dress).














Among the accesories........




























Kac biasa dulu duduk di depan altar..hehehe...( before the wedding, jan lagi tension..I am a bit stress before the actual day..trus pimple sia keluar)














The day before the big day..Anderson and Jen and us went to Sacred Heart church to discuss about the details of the event and looking for ideas on how to take our photos for tmorrow...

















First of all, hire a good photographer which you can easily discussed with and of course, affordable with your budget..Before having the decision on hiring them, 1st thing is get to know them, make urself comfortable with them and discussed about what your need in ur photos. Hubby and I decided to have a wedding photos in a spontaneous way because we want the viewer to see the real us and not trying to be someone else....here are some of the photos the p'grapher which is also our good friend took during our actual day....to see more of his creations log to http://www.andersonkalang.blogspot.com/


p/s :( Just be yourself when u r doing the pose, the more you trying too hard in front of the camera, the more it become unnnaturale and a bit bored in the photos.)



































Monday, May 11, 2009

Wedding photo studio....A friend requested to load these pics...hehehe..




























































































Independent pregger???? I don't know if I can.....

Hubby will be going to KL by next week for 4 days....he 's got some kind of exam at the British Council. Why KL? why not Brunei only?

I already feel depressed since two months ago when he informed me about this. That's mean I have to stand by my on feet throughout his absence for four days...:(:(:(....

I thought about going to my aunty's house butttttttt........I cannot stand all those parent talk to their kids bcoz it remind me of my childhood which my mom always lecturing me about study, behave, study, behave, study, behave and so on...(but now my mother is among women I admire the most, she's like my bestfriend and she's so cool and I love her)...I love my aunty's family but during this pregnancy, I just want to avoid any outside tension...

The best plan is, I would just stay home alone in the house and keep connected with my neighbour in case there's any emergency...Still some more problems, I cannot cook!!!!!!!!!!!Don't get me wrong, I can cook but since the early pregnancy until now, I cannot stand the smell of the gas and the smell of onions!!!Even the smell of those makes me wanna throw up..hubby suggested to eat bread but nooo...I cannot tahan eating bread for the whole four days...there're small restaurant near the house which I can tapau but it's so filthy!!! The last time I went there to eat I threw up!!! So those restaurant not really a good choice to be my next kitchen...I am still thinking and planning how to keep me survive for few days without hubby punya cooking....huhuhu...last resort terpaksa juga la masak using cooker and have to look for an anti smell masks...( I don't think those product exist in the market)...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The weather makes me crazy.....

Please send me the rain!!!!! I need it terribly!!! Suddenly got flu..mucus is all over of my throat, yuck!! I can't even taste the food and drinks very well!!!! My stomach all over itchy, my butt is cramping, I got backache, my tongue's feel bitter, i feel so hot even the aircondition doesn't help and got stuffy nose....how i wish I can be a Sleeping Beauty righ..wake up after hundred years...even sleeping makes my head aching....

Monday, May 4, 2009

Craving Craziness!!!!

I've been craving for coconut since early this morning ( it's actually on Friday )..and it's been very upsetting when you can't have it!!!!
Hubby and I went for dinner and expecting the restaurant still have the coconut pandan...when it's time to order. the waiter tols us there were no more coconuts, so was the midin vegies which i wanted it to be cooked with belacan. I was sooooooo upset and tears start rolling on my cheeks...nah kan nda tau malu bah sudah..then I ordered coconut drink from the tin also they didn't have..tambah2 lagi la sia sakit hati...the waitress tried to suggest me to order other drinks but I STILL WANT A COCONUT....nasib la juga ada tu ikan bakar masak belacan.at least hantu si anda keluar...during eating time I was getting even cranckier....sakit butt la, cannot stand asap rokok la, smelly la..Flo kept on quiet n layan jak la bini dia mengarut sana sini...but then ntah macamana both of us end up laughing..panat juga bah kalo terus marah2..
After the dinner, to satisfy my craving, we went to the malay warung and ordered two big coconut....waaa punya main sadap....after that nite, we've been driving around the city to buy coconuts and watermelon...just in case I suddenly crave those on 2 a.m.....

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