Frustration, Anger, Regretness......

Hello again...now hubby's back in the house I realize I appreciate him more in my life and love him more. I can't imagine getting married to anyone but him, the fact that we always have different opinion and also in characters( we argue so much, He is Mr Neat and Responsible while me, I am Miss Clumsiness and Absentminded, even the dead plant in front of the door house I didn't see which I am the one who responsible to water those plants, siapa la yang nda marah.), we are just nailed it to be together thou the road of marriage life sometimes not so easy as it does..trust me on that!

My topic today is not about our marriage life but about something which I read thru a book titled "Einsten Never Used Flash Cards"...first of all do forgive me if you find out that my next statements would be quite harsh and maybe parents out there ( if there is any parents read this post) find this post as an insult to them..it's only my pregnancy hormones okay..

Nowadays parents would send their children for tuiton, make sure that they must have a good grades and the good grades that we talking here is from Primary One..UPSR, must have all A, PMR 7A's and SPM all subject must credit in high marks....and for other things like play...ignore it, u don't have those time if you want to excel on your study.
If you excel on it, u get praises from ur parents, auntie, uncle and cousins and if you don't excel, they don't know what else they see on you..you just a normal kid with no ability in study..and they will praise more for another nephews/cousins who got excellent result in exam. Another thing , a kid age 4 years old don't know how to read yet, they will start to justify her ability in study..this are all bullshit!!!!!! I experienced it with my on eyes..luckily my parents now have a bit realization about this misconception about how to lead your children when they re growing up but they are a little too late to realize it, I am now a 28 years grown up woman, having a depression since my teenage life just to fullfilled their expectation in my study....luckily I am on my own now ..the thing was, I dont like study..I didn't like maths, I didn't like biology, chemistry and add maths...during those years, I just want to do Karate and drawings!!!!!Instead my schedule was filled with tution, tuition and more tuition....I am actually wasting my time with this bullshit activity during my teenage years. and I've been damaging my body with stomacache everytime any exam coming oout bcoz afraid of the failure and afraid to upset my parents if i failed..if only I know that I ve the right to say on what I really need during that time, maybe now I already travel around the world to do many things. Not that I am regretting my life now, I just very upset with my teen life, I ve been wasting my teen life with all those books which i was not interested with!!!!!...
"You are not goin anywhere if u don’t excell in your PMR or SPM, look at ur nephews, they are very bright, why can you just be hardworking like them?""Look at your aunt, she 's a university graduates and she has a good job , she is happy and fulfilled", "Oh look at ur other aunty who's a dentist, if they can, u also can"...that was the kind of motivations I received from my parents and aunties which was good but didn't help me at all.
To tell you the truth, I don’t even want to be like my aunty because she's so depressing!!!! Especially when I looked at her kids, she really thinks that she can make the kids as perfect as her!!!Did I mentioned that she's got a very low self-confidence, she feel so unsecure if I don't eat her homemade salad!!!!! I never see ppl as pathetic as her!!!!( I am sorry aunty, I am so mad at you, the way u treat me like a kid, the way u keep on asking me to get a job ,the way you keep on boosting how well ur kids do in the school and the way you snapped ur daughter only because she didn't get 100 percent in her workbook tests.)How will i look up at her as a good example!!! One of my aunty, her daughter got 5A's in PMR...isn't that a good result??but poor girl, her mommy keep on accused her for being slow...then demanded that she get a perfect result for SPM, the last time I check my cousin is attending a 6 days /week tuition now (in her Form 4) to prepare for SPM....I just don't get it, why?????

Back to the books, from the research it was said that "Children (is) suffering from a new kind of "grade inflation" where skills that were traditionally taught in one grade now have to be learned the year before. Not surprisingly our children are suffering from excessive depression and anxiety and children anxiety's levels have increased significantly since the 1950s, with children as young as 9 now experiencing anxiety attacks which also happened to me when I did my UPSR last time. Some studies show a growing prevalence of test anxiety in children, possibly due to the increased amount of testing in schools and high academic expectations of parents. This anxiety of course, actually interferes with performances and learning !!!Note that parents. don’t; let your crazy expectation get to your kids, you don't know how long they can handle your expectation.. when you know it, it's too late to turn back time again!!!!!