Quote of the Day.

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."

-Arthur Ashe (1943-1993); American tennis player, social activist

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Need to remind this for myself......

Last week, hubby and I had a long conversation  with a wise lady. One of our many topic was a story about one of her friend daughter / teenager. To make the story long short, these are the conclusion to the story.
Apparently her friend's daughter somehow has deleted her mother from her Facebook account.
The daughter thought that her mother didn't respect her privacy, not only didn't trust her but threatened to bring her back home out from her boarding school on which she stayed and study. Comparing , arguing  and questioning on her ability made the girl restless and spontaneously deleting her mother from her FB account.
My 1st respond was,
"Serve you right!"( I refer to the mother).
I can't believe this, in this 21st centuries, there still parents who still don't have any idea on how a teenager tupsy turvy life would be. With all the social media comes in one pieces..Facebook, Internet, I phone, I pod, additional extra circle of friends and so on..are lurking among our teenagers world..does this type of method(Pushing your kids to the limit as you desire)still applicable??  There must be a proper perspective other than to follow our own feeling on what to do to our kid.
I would want to echo this from my own personal of view. As tempted as you pictured them in the future through your planted wishes since the day that they were born, unfortunately you would not be able to create them as what you have desired. You have a right to facilitate your kid but....you don't have any right to ruin their privacy by reading their mail, or  telling them to be like other super-clever or super-hardworking kid or strictly telling them to get straight A's on their examination, or even judging their ability in doing things.
All of these matters are going to ruin your relationship with your kid. If it's not soonest, it will be later when they're married and have kids.
I am totally understand with the poor girl situation as I was(once) having a circle of friend who their parents were perfectionist. And most of them, their opinion or point of view were ignored by their parents. Not even given a chance to reason and explained further on what they had been through with their struggle in daily life. Thus,it was a good friend who would always lend a shoulder to cry on whenever it was too much to bear..
As this wise lady said, when your kid is reaching their teenage-hood, they would turned into a totally different person.
Hormonal changes, sexuality curiosity, endless questions on their own self esteem and many more challenges they need to face..The only parent can do is to give a total support and understanding towards their finding on their new-self.( And be nice with their friend, sometimes we would finally see our teen true-self from their friend views.)   Parents need to learn on  how to give and take in whatever the situation it is.Don't just jumping into conclusion without looking at it thoroughly...

Last but not least, don't be mistaken by the terms of "facilitate" and "commanding" . Understand both of the meaning wisely otherwise, our kid might just delete us as well from their cyber page in the future....

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