Back to my story, yesterday was a bit struggle because I felt extra tired and lacked of sleep. And the tiredness lead to impatient, angry, snappy and resentful. Ava from the starting of the day was a bit crancky, maybe because of the effect from the last injection making her felt restless and some mood swing ( luckily no fever. ) so she needed me more than usual. She doesn't want to be alone most of the time which usually she would be playing on her own. Put her in the sarong she would wailed asking to be putting off from it. She's wailing whenever mommy was out of sight and cried for no reason. I was very exhausted and trying to control my nerve, I would reached and embraced her even I was desperately need to take the time off for myself even only a minute! Deep reflection is a luxury when time is short and baby are calling.
Hubby came from work, he took turn to take care our little baby and me fetched the laundry and dried them up. At last by 1.30 pm Ava fell asleep for almost one in a half hours and instead taking a nap, I went to internet surf. Biggest mistake! I should take my nap because after that I became even resentful. Ava woke up wanting to have more attention. With my head desperately need a back up I took my pouch, took Ava in it and walked to the outside of the house. Outside the surrounding was very calming. The wind blows softly and the birds were chirping, that was my back up mode, I need some fresh air. When I looked around all the plants and flowers, I noticed some of the tree had grown taller and some of them has turned to yellows and while others had fallen, leaving the branches bare. Meanwhile my little one seemed very quiet looking and observing around her surrounding. She quietly watched me took the dry laundry, water the plants and feeding Bumble. I was very relieved I could overcome my emotion and made Ava comfortable at last.
Even with all of this and more upcoming challenging which I need to face up front each day, especially in overcoming my emotion, I'd never felt happier and more filled with love than I'd ever thought possible.
Today : Very excited, trying to reach her cloth diaper